Which One is Secretly Sabotaging Your Growth?
EPISODE 51 / 12.16.2025
Is your inner voice saying, “I did something bad”… or “I am bad”? That subtle difference might be the key to your emotional growth—or the reason you feel stuck.
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Show Notes
Todd and Bettijo Bridges strip things down to a powerful, honest, just-the-two-of-us conversation about Shame vs. Guilt—and why confusing the two can quietly sabotage your self-worth, parenting, recovery, and mental health.
Sprinkled with their signature humor, the heart of the conversation centers on a crucial distinction:
- Guilt highlights a behavior that needs repair.
- Shame attacks personal identity, which fuels the addiction cycle and a desire to hide rather than grow.
They discuss how shame often drives the addiction cycle, why “mom guilt” is more accurately described as “mom shame,” and how shaming language—especially in parenting—can damage a child’s developing sense of self. Bettijo reframes guilt as a signal for growth, not punishment, while Todd shares personal insights into how shame thrives in secrecy.
The conversation also explores the intersection of faith, prayer, and meditation, specifically highlighting the danger of outsourcing personal discernment to technology. Todd and Bettijo discuss a sobering case where an AI reportedly assisted a 16-year-old with suicide, illustrating the devastating risks when digital algorithms are used to replace genuine human connection or spiritual intuition.
HIGHLIGHTS
- Identifying the “voice of truth” versus the voice that attacks your self-worth. (2:08)
- Todd and Bettijo define the core differences between shame vs. guilt. (03:15)
- Why the addiction cycle is often fueled by a repetitive shame loop. (06:55)
- The danger of “the look” and using shaming language in parenting. (08:10)
- Boundaries and expectations: Why moving the goalposts confuses children. (10:37)
- How do you know the difference between shaming and healthy discipline? (11:07)
- Debunking the “mom guilt” hashtag and reclaiming your personal time. (16:20)
- Practical steps to take when a “shame storm” hits your mental health. (20:30)
- The danger of AI replacing spiritual intuition and human connection. (22:30)
- ToddFlix: Sheriff Country. (28:32)
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Tune in to learn
- How to tell when guilt is helping you grow—and when it’s time to let it go.
- Why shaming language sticks to a child’s identity long after the moment has passed.
- Why “mom guilt” is misnamed—and how to stop carrying shame that isn’t yours.
Stop letting shame drive the bus while guilt sits in the back seat throwing snacks. Hit Play to start your emotional tune-up today!
24-HOUR National Helpline
If you’re struggling with your mental health, you don’t have to face it alone. The SAMHSA National Helpline is available 24/7 to provide free, confidential support (in English and Spanish), information, and resources for individuals and families facing mental health or substance use challenges. Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to speak with someone who cares. Help is just a call away.
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